Laying in bed solo

So it's Tuesday night and I already miss him like crazy. I wish he was laying next to me in bed right now or atleast I wish I knew he was coming home to my bed. He dosent even know were screwed over for next Saturday dinner at my house then out or back to his house for some fun. Nope instead were stuck sitting at dereks with a whole bunch of our "friends" who have no idea that were together. Honestly it's stuff like this that is very frustrating to me our special night turns into a night with a whole bunch of people who are suppose to love us but wouldn't even beable to accept us if we came out to them. Then times like this make me second guess our relationship I don't think it's fair that it's so easy for him but so hard for me like for fuck sakes times like that make me question everything. Then I get sad he gets mad we get into a fight and there goes a Saturday night. I don't know maybe if he saw this he would understand I just want him to understand. <3